4 months

Four months ago today, almost exactly to the hour, my life was forever better.  Saige was born.  It's so heartwarming to think back to that day, our first moments together as mother and daughter, our instant bond, the wholeness she brought to an unknowingly missing piece of my heart.  I think back to my pregnancy with Saige and am so embarrassed.  It was a real struggle for me and I was so negative and faithless.  I was so stressed with the daunting reality that I would now have two little souls to provide for on our meager student budget, but if I would have only known... she is just what I needed.  She is my little comforter, our families peacemaker, warmth and happiness.  She is the absolute perfect baby, has been sleeping through the night since 4 days old (that's not a type-o), only fusses if she is tired, hungry, or being held by a blonde (weird, I know).  I thank the Lord everyday for blessing me with another one of His perfect, precious, daughters to love, because truthfully I think I need them more than they need me.

I posted the lyrics to the song Brave by Nicole Nordeman shortly after Hallie was born, but I just love it so I want to share my favorite parts again.  It is my anthem of motherhood and the absolute truth about how my girls effect me:

'Cause it's been fear that ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love, that cuts the strings

So long status quo
I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was
Is no longer good enough
You make me want to be brave

I am small
And I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name
Just Your name and I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall...

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
Every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if you believe in me
That changes everything

I LOVE YOU SAIGE!

Gram came.  I miss her.

  We found Saige sleeping in deep thought.

 I lived in this spot on the couch for the first 3 months of her life.  It was nursing headquarters because it has the best view of the TV.

 Love Saige's face here.  Attack of the kissing sister.

 Best. Dad. Ever.

  Her blessing day.

Mother's Day.

I love her creepy smile...

... and her cute one too.

Her hair likes to do this a lot.  I don't know what to call it other than awesome.

LOVE her.